CODE RED! Words that men fear!

January 12, 2009

 

There are some phrases, very short phrases that all men dread, a few little words that  if said by a woman will drive them into a state of calamity and panic; unable to eat, sleep or even fap! Phrases such as “We have to talk”, “I’m pregnant”, “I used to be a man” and the one that recently activated my good friend’s CODE RED: “Have I gained weight?” OH NO, SHE DIDN’T! HOSHIT!

Here’s how I usually handle it: I tell the truth. Yes, kiddies, I am a stupid brave man. My ROTC Corps Commander once quoted: “A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.” 

If she didn’t gain, just tell them! She’d think that you’re just pulling her legs or being boleros, but you’re just being honest. If she did gain weight and it’s noticable, then just tell the truth! THEN RUN FOR COVER! But srsly, this might even motivate ’em to lose weight and you can help! Gym buddies! If you really can’t tell, just tell her that she sorta did, but she looks great anyway! This way, you’re still kinda being honest and they’d still be concious about it; they might be encouraged to become sexier. YUS!

 

 rjmovewait, wat? 

 

What I’d like to know is how YOU guys would handle this situation. SO! Here’s something for ya! A girl you really like(this applies to lesbians and bi-sexuals too. Yes, I’m looking at you, Joanne) suddenly asks you(yes, you!) this question: “tumaba ba ako?/have I gained weight?”. What would your answer be? I want your exact words! A scenario, even! I’m sure a lot of you have encountered similar situations, TELL YOUR STORY! I want to know!

For my female readers, I want to know how would you react to their answer/s. Would you doubt them? Think that their answer is based on how fast they can get you to take off your pants? Would you accept their poorly concieved lies as a form of self assurance? TELL YOUR STORY! I want to know as well!

 

 

On a completely unrelated note: I’m torn between the Nokia 5800 Xpress Music and the Sony Ericsson W980i. Halp me choose pl0x!


Badeyes McBlind, The Querido!

November 16, 2008

A very quick post:

Apparently I’m “a side dish, served as the main course” lolwut.

 

 

Also, Statutory Rape. Zomg!