CODE RED! Words that men fear!

January 12, 2009

 

There are some phrases, very short phrases that all men dread, a few little words that  if said by a woman will drive them into a state of calamity and panic; unable to eat, sleep or even fap! Phrases such as “We have to talk”, “I’m pregnant”, “I used to be a man” and the one that recently activated my good friend’s CODE RED: “Have I gained weight?” OH NO, SHE DIDN’T! HOSHIT!

Here’s how I usually handle it: I tell the truth. Yes, kiddies, I am a stupid brave man. My ROTC Corps Commander once quoted: “A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.” 

If she didn’t gain, just tell them! She’d think that you’re just pulling her legs or being boleros, but you’re just being honest. If she did gain weight and it’s noticable, then just tell the truth! THEN RUN FOR COVER! But srsly, this might even motivate ’em to lose weight and you can help! Gym buddies! If you really can’t tell, just tell her that she sorta did, but she looks great anyway! This way, you’re still kinda being honest and they’d still be concious about it; they might be encouraged to become sexier. YUS!

 

 rjmovewait, wat? 

 

What I’d like to know is how YOU guys would handle this situation. SO! Here’s something for ya! A girl you really like(this applies to lesbians and bi-sexuals too. Yes, I’m looking at you, Joanne) suddenly asks you(yes, you!) this question: “tumaba ba ako?/have I gained weight?”. What would your answer be? I want your exact words! A scenario, even! I’m sure a lot of you have encountered similar situations, TELL YOUR STORY! I want to know!

For my female readers, I want to know how would you react to their answer/s. Would you doubt them? Think that their answer is based on how fast they can get you to take off your pants? Would you accept their poorly concieved lies as a form of self assurance? TELL YOUR STORY! I want to know as well!

 

 

On a completely unrelated note: I’m torn between the Nokia 5800 Xpress Music and the Sony Ericsson W980i. Halp me choose pl0x!


Two Double-O Nine: THE RETURN OF DA BLIND

January 7, 2009

 

Hello kiddies, I’m baaaaaack! Sorta.

After a whole month of Defending the Ancients inactivity,

 

 

 

wait..

Okay, NOW I’m back! Sorta.

 

here’s a quickie post coz I need to sleep in 15mins coz I have  a FUCKING 7AM CLASS TOMORROW FFFFFFFFF:

 

So after oh so many years of “My New Year’s Resolution is not to have a New Year’s Resolution. I did it! YAYZ!”, I’ve finally made a few resolutions for two double o-nine. Coz  I realized that while two double-o eight was an awesome year(for parteh-ing and slacking off), I really didn’t do anything productive(like blogging or brushing my teeth) and I didn’t really learn anything useful/practical that’ll help me in the real world(like how to be an internet supahstar). I also got fat.

 

So here are my resolutions these year:

1. Learn. Something, anything, everything, as long as I get something out of it. Then APPLY that knowledge and be productive for once. This includes drawing(I am enrolled in Multimedia Arts and I can’t draw to save my life. SAVE ME PL0X!), Photography, Webapps, Languages and anything that I am interested to but was too lazy to do anything about.

2. Write MOAR. Apparently, some people think that I can come up with half-decent shit if I wasn’t so lazy. Those people have been known to be demented, sadistic and perverted, but they somehow convinced me to write moar so they can laugh at my misfortunes in life.

3. Be Smexy again. Through working out and a diet(that is driving me INSANE-er). I want my smexy 2005 bodeh and By Jupiter I shall have it back!

4. And World Peace. Bow. Thank You!

 

 

Up Next: DLS-CSB’s sucky Orientation and my EPIC PHAIL. Same blind time, same blind channel!


Did somebody just say Weeaboo?

November 28, 2008

 

 

This blog is getting too weeaboo. I need something non-Japanese to write about. Give a random non-weeaboo topic and I’ll blog about it. Maybe.

 

 

 

prikitiw prikitiw prikitiw

 

 Wait, what?


Plurk me up!

November 18, 2008

 

http://www.plurk.com/malabo

Add me, bitches!

 

also,


*falls*

November 16, 2008

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*thud*