CODE RED! Words that men fear!

 

There are some phrases, very short phrases that all men dread, a few little words that  if said by a woman will drive them into a state of calamity and panic; unable to eat, sleep or even fap! Phrases such as “We have to talk”, “I’m pregnant”, “I used to be a man” and the one that recently activated my good friend’s CODE RED: “Have I gained weight?” OH NO, SHE DIDN’T! HOSHIT!

Here’s how I usually handle it: I tell the truth. Yes, kiddies, I am a stupid brave man. My ROTC Corps Commander once quoted: “A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.” 

If she didn’t gain, just tell them! She’d think that you’re just pulling her legs or being boleros, but you’re just being honest. If she did gain weight and it’s noticable, then just tell the truth! THEN RUN FOR COVER! But srsly, this might even motivate ’em to lose weight and you can help! Gym buddies! If you really can’t tell, just tell her that she sorta did, but she looks great anyway! This way, you’re still kinda being honest and they’d still be concious about it; they might be encouraged to become sexier. YUS!

 

 rjmovewait, wat? 

 

What I’d like to know is how YOU guys would handle this situation. SO! Here’s something for ya! A girl you really like(this applies to lesbians and bi-sexuals too. Yes, I’m looking at you, Joanne) suddenly asks you(yes, you!) this question: “tumaba ba ako?/have I gained weight?”. What would your answer be? I want your exact words! A scenario, even! I’m sure a lot of you have encountered similar situations, TELL YOUR STORY! I want to know!

For my female readers, I want to know how would you react to their answer/s. Would you doubt them? Think that their answer is based on how fast they can get you to take off your pants? Would you accept their poorly concieved lies as a form of self assurance? TELL YOUR STORY! I want to know as well!

 

 

On a completely unrelated note: I’m torn between the Nokia 5800 Xpress Music and the Sony Ericsson W980i. Halp me choose pl0x!

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6 Responses to CODE RED! Words that men fear!

  1. :) says:

    I’d say “You’re huge” sarcastically then I’d smile.

  2. Ren says:

    WTF….
    Well for me she thought I was lying o_O when I told her I don’t notice those things…

  3. Magician13 says:

    Desperation time huh?

    Well, best just stick to the truth in my opinion~
    Either that or…

    Girl: “Tumaba ako?”
    RJ: *stands up and points* ANO ‘YON!!!! XD

  4. Fiel says:

    I’d have different replies for different situations. If she were my girlfriend, id most definitely say something like “hrm ur conscious with me i like dat!” then after she laughs, i tell the truth.

    If i don’t like the girl. id prolly go “you are perfectly fine the way you are! dont bother” this sorta messes with their heads into thinking that THEY HAVE TO impress you now coz you look at them not as attractive women, but as some sort of friend.

    If I do like the girl, id tell the truth. Might as well suffer the consequence now rather than later.

    Do check out my latest blog post guys – for those looking for a badass anime http://www.gotohellwithfiel.wordpress.com

  5. Ade says:

    I feign instant temporary deafness.

  6. Dieggy San Dieggy says:

    Calling women fat is never the answer. It’s a trick question. Never call them fat. It will echo in her mind that you saw her fat all day, all night, for a few days. And she will not use it as an inspiration to lose weight.

    Put it this way, women do not make themselves beautiful for men, we make ourselves beautiful for each other. To outdo one another.

    So if a woman asks you if she gained weight, lie and tell her she LOST weight instead. That is the best answer because:

    1. You are a guy. You don’t have the capacity to know if she gained or lost weight. She might just be wearing an ill-fitting top.

    2. It will make her feel good about herself. Again, not because she values your opinion as a guy but at least in your innocent/ignorant eyes she lost weight. And if someone like you notices that she lost weight, then probably other women might have to! And that is what truly matters.

    3. You are preventing future psychological trauma that your “yes you gained weight” may inflict upon her delicate brain.

    4. Weight is arbitrary. We lose, we gain, we retain. C’est la vie.

    – Dieggy San Dieggy
    BS Psychology Graduate (YASSSSS)

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