CODE RED! Words that men fear!

January 12, 2009

 

There are some phrases, very short phrases that all men dread, a few little words that  if said by a woman will drive them into a state of calamity and panic; unable to eat, sleep or even fap! Phrases such as “We have to talk”, “I’m pregnant”, “I used to be a man” and the one that recently activated my good friend’s CODE RED: “Have I gained weight?” OH NO, SHE DIDN’T! HOSHIT!

Here’s how I usually handle it: I tell the truth. Yes, kiddies, I am a stupid brave man. My ROTC Corps Commander once quoted: “A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.” 

If she didn’t gain, just tell them! She’d think that you’re just pulling her legs or being boleros, but you’re just being honest. If she did gain weight and it’s noticable, then just tell the truth! THEN RUN FOR COVER! But srsly, this might even motivate ’em to lose weight and you can help! Gym buddies! If you really can’t tell, just tell her that she sorta did, but she looks great anyway! This way, you’re still kinda being honest and they’d still be concious about it; they might be encouraged to become sexier. YUS!

 

 rjmovewait, wat? 

 

What I’d like to know is how YOU guys would handle this situation. SO! Here’s something for ya! A girl you really like(this applies to lesbians and bi-sexuals too. Yes, I’m looking at you, Joanne) suddenly asks you(yes, you!) this question: “tumaba ba ako?/have I gained weight?”. What would your answer be? I want your exact words! A scenario, even! I’m sure a lot of you have encountered similar situations, TELL YOUR STORY! I want to know!

For my female readers, I want to know how would you react to their answer/s. Would you doubt them? Think that their answer is based on how fast they can get you to take off your pants? Would you accept their poorly concieved lies as a form of self assurance? TELL YOUR STORY! I want to know as well!

 

 

On a completely unrelated note: I’m torn between the Nokia 5800 Xpress Music and the Sony Ericsson W980i. Halp me choose pl0x!


Pers Day Pak! The Adventures of 10899588!

January 7, 2009

 

Let’s do the fuck, let’s do the first daaaaay fuck!

 

Hello, kiddies! I just want to take this opportunity to announce that I am once again a FRESHMAN! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Hello po ate. Help me, I’m lost >:). But I’m sure you’ve already heard of the delightful news, especially if you’re a one-o-five or one-o-four friend since I’ve been shouting my one-o-eight-ness all day long. Ne, senpaaaaaais? 

So I’ve started my CSB life yesterday at the orientation. It’s nowhere as good as DLSU’s LPEP, but the facis(I’M OLDER THAN THEM LOL) were too very energetic and hospitable. But yeah, it’s pretty boring. I only attended in hopes of meeting a Korean chick; but alas, their Zerg hivemind detected my evil scheme and withrew their forces. So I was stuck there in a room full of strangers, most of them aren’t even in the same course. And unlike DLSU’s LPEP, they were very apathetic. My LPEP was wild and noisy because I had 4 LSGH batchmates who became my blockmates, the CSB orientation on the other hand was oh so quiet(except for the facis, who did their best to lighten up the mood) and even awkward at times.

After an ice breaker called Fusion(I love this game!), the group finally started to loosen up. But then we had to sit through speeches and videos about the Lasallian Core Values and all that jazz. Yayz, I get to learn the prayer and alma mater again! Then they showed us various vids, most of them were cool  and entertaining. Until they showed that crappy I’d rather be Green than be Blue vid made by my lower classmen 3 years ago for their music subject in high school. I should really stop comparing the sister schools lol. CSB has prettier chicks!

So the day was pretty much a disaster. Maybe because of an incident that involces a certain girl who looks like Cel Opaco who got away fromy my clutches FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. But I got to meet some interesting people, won’t get lost in the campus anymore(but I’ll still pretend to anyway in hopes of meeting wimminz) and I at least know some of my MMA peers.

 

So the orientation was a flop, but the real term started today! Here is the list of BS FLOATING ABMMA subjects that I have for this term:

  • ORDEV-A – Orientation and Development of Values A
  • HISTORY – Philippine History
  • POLIGOV – Politics and Governance
  • JOSERIZ – Jose P. Rizal
  • GEPSYCH – General Psychology
  • NATSCA1 – Human Factors in Design
  • PEONEPF – Physical Fitness (aka Aerobics)
  • FLOATING GALORE!

     

    I had a 7am class(Aerobics) today, I arrived 15mins late to see my blockmates(some of them are cute YUS!) leaving the Dance Room saying that the prof ditched us. FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-

    I woke up at 5am for NOTHING! So I said to myself “ok, pak dis..”. Being the responsible christian achiever that I am, I did the fuck, the first day fuck and didn’t attend the rest of my classes. GO ME! So yeah, my REAL first day will start tomorrow with a 3hr class(NATSCA1) about “ergonomics and anthropometrics”, lolwat? But I’m sure that I’ll be motivated to go tomorrow, the SDA bldg is full of chicks! Especially the Fashon Design chicks! YUS!

     

    PS. The Benildian song thingie sucks. Srsly, change pl0x.

    PSPS. I broke the diet again today. I’M SORRY FIEL! It’s only a quarter cup of rice and buffalo wings!


    Two Double-O Nine: THE RETURN OF DA BLIND

    January 7, 2009

     

    Hello kiddies, I’m baaaaaack! Sorta.

    After a whole month of Defending the Ancients inactivity,

     

     

     

    wait..

    Okay, NOW I’m back! Sorta.

     

    here’s a quickie post coz I need to sleep in 15mins coz I have  a FUCKING 7AM CLASS TOMORROW FFFFFFFFF:

     

    So after oh so many years of “My New Year’s Resolution is not to have a New Year’s Resolution. I did it! YAYZ!”, I’ve finally made a few resolutions for two double o-nine. Coz  I realized that while two double-o eight was an awesome year(for parteh-ing and slacking off), I really didn’t do anything productive(like blogging or brushing my teeth) and I didn’t really learn anything useful/practical that’ll help me in the real world(like how to be an internet supahstar). I also got fat.

     

    So here are my resolutions these year:

    1. Learn. Something, anything, everything, as long as I get something out of it. Then APPLY that knowledge and be productive for once. This includes drawing(I am enrolled in Multimedia Arts and I can’t draw to save my life. SAVE ME PL0X!), Photography, Webapps, Languages and anything that I am interested to but was too lazy to do anything about.

    2. Write MOAR. Apparently, some people think that I can come up with half-decent shit if I wasn’t so lazy. Those people have been known to be demented, sadistic and perverted, but they somehow convinced me to write moar so they can laugh at my misfortunes in life.

    3. Be Smexy again. Through working out and a diet(that is driving me INSANE-er). I want my smexy 2005 bodeh and By Jupiter I shall have it back!

    4. And World Peace. Bow. Thank You!

     

     

    Up Next: DLS-CSB’s sucky Orientation and my EPIC PHAIL. Same blind time, same blind channel!